Zapatos Para El o Ella? No Importa!

It's happening again.  My XL women's clothing and shoes are being bought by men.  Not only red-blooded American men.  No, I got a request from a man in a country famous for its machismo. This guy  measured his feet and wanted to know if I thought the Tory Burch ballet flats would fit him.  I gave him the measurements in inches and centimeters because I am bilingual in measurements.

eBay teaches one to be flexible.  Those Hanro made in Switzerland "Sensuous Moments" panties also went to a man.  Gift?  Personal?  I don't care one whit.  They sold at considerable profit.  

Wacoal For A Song

I don't know how, but somehow I collected a lot of bras of various sizes over the years.  I used to religiously hit the sales after Christmas and would stock up on my favorite brands, Wacoal and La Perla. 

And then I lost weight.  A lot of weight.  These bras became useless.  I did not give them to the Goodwill or other charity because I was not convinced I would not gain it all back, and there I would be, bra-less.

A couple of years passed and they were still sitting in my drawer.  And then my Marimekko moment kicked in.  eBay, I thought.  They probably won't sell, but hey, why not give it a try?  And so I sorted through them: bands, cups, manufacturers.  I picked a random number to set the price, my thinking being, if they sell, great, if not, off to Goodwill.

I tentatively put the first lot up: 38DD Wacoals.  Now Wacoal is a bit of a strange brand to me.  It is Japanese, and the bras (as one would expect) are high quality, engineered well, and expensive.  Kind of the Lexus of the lingerie world.

Immediately I got watchers.  And then a bid.  And another.  What was the cause of this bidding frenzy?

They sold--my three used (or in eBay parlance "lightly used"), bras for twenty something dollars.  I was amazed.

But my amazement went one step further: the buyer was a man.  What would a man be doing buying my used bras?  No woman I know would want used bras as a gift.

I put another lot up.  "archiejoy" kept the bidding going, but "ny12912" sniped "archiejoy" in the last 15 seconds.  And guess what? "ny12912" was again a man.

Three more lots, and all had male buyers. 

I leave it to your imagination, but if I were just beginning to transition from male to female, or if I were a drag queen or transgendered individual on a strict budget, I know where I would be getting my bras from!

The Lady From Chicago

There is a woman in Chicago, or near Chicago, who I've bought clothing from on several occasions.  I imagine her as grandmotherly, maybe cleaning out closets for a move to a smaller, "more sensible" place.  I think she has a standing appointment to get her hair done every Thursday or Friday at a place she's been going to for years.

My first purchase from her was a grey Akris jacket.  It was priced ridiculously cheap (the way I like things), and she included a little surprize for me--some costume jewelry, the style of which I remember from my childhood.  I was touched.  While I may never wear that jewelry, it was a thoughtful gesture, and I emailed her my thanks.

About six months later, I bought a pair of Akris pants from her.  Again, they were an excellent price, and I was happy to be buying them from her.

They came when I was in the hospital for some surgery.  When I returned home, the box was waiting for me, but I scarcely had the energy to open it. (Amazing what surgery can knock out of you!)  The second day I was home, I summoned my strength and opened the box.  The pants were perfect, and this time, there was again, a little something extra.  This time it was a black wool Armani skirt.  I looked at it in wonder, and thought that it would never fit (European sizing) but by hook or by crook, I was bound and determined to try it on as it was the most elegant skirt I had ever seen.  Awkwardly, and with a bit of pain, I got myself into it.  It fit as if it had been tailor-made for me.  I was astounded on two fronts:  this woman's generousity which could not have come at a better time, and that the skirt fit!

I emailed her and told her of my surgery, and how much that skirt meant to me.  She wrote back a quick note, and just acknowledged that she was glad the skirt fit.  I like to think that she was secretly delighted that that skirt had made me so happy, but I will never know.

Famous Writer Film Director Buys Deep Book

So, Mr. Famous in a Lot of Circles buys a very intellectual and totally unfathomable book from me.  I liked this guy's movies and his short stories.  Debated for a good ten minutes about including a note telling him this in his order.  Thought better of it; that it might be misconstrued as stalking, and maybe this was not the best of ideas.  So I did not.  But I still have his address, and should I ever be in Brooklyn.....

Oops, I Beg You. Let Me Cancel. My Wife is Pregnant

This is a shaggy dog story of sorts.  A bit of southern gothic, and a tad of is he or isn't he buying it for himself?

It goes like this:  I had a size XXL Isaac Mizrahi chambray dress to sell.  Way back when, Isaac designed for Target.  He was one of the first, if not the first, designer to do collections for Target.  He did everything from shoes to linens to clothing and accessories for dogs.  Well, rather than the latter, I bought a chambray shirtwaist dress and then never wore it since I decided it looked way too school teachery.  So it hung in my closet for maybe five years, and to use the eBay parlance, I decided to sell it NWT (New With Tags.)

Little nibbles here and there but nobody bid on it for a couple of weeks.  It was almost going to go into the Goodwill bag, but then I received a message from Robert who proudly proclaimed he was from Arkansas.  He was interested in buying the dress as a surpize for his wife's birthday, and he wanted to know if a pair of first class plane tickets would fit in the pocket.  That should've been my first clue--who has real tickets these days?

And then...and then...he started emailing.  Here's a sample:  sorry to bother you again but I failed to make certain the dress doesn't contain any spandex because she is allergic to it

ok I promise I'm about done picking on you and I'll try to ask everything so I can decide on it. Glad its wasn't floral because I'm not a big fan of it. I know my wife worries about wrinkles when she wears a dress and I think its because shes self conscious about her weight and how a wrinkled dress draws attention to the fact that she is quite heavy. Lord she'd kill me for saying this but I have to admit I've noticed one dress in particular does do that because whenever she stands up from sitting even after just a few minutes the dress has some pretty intense creases from where she has sat on top of it. So how well do you think this dress will do in that regard? This question is just something I want to know .


Maybe ten emails in the same stream of consciousness style followed.
.
Finally:

I hate doing this but is it possible to cancel our deal? Here's what I wasn't aware of until yesterday, my wife is pregnant! I noticed she had been gaining a little weight but I didn't think to much about it. She wasn't quite ready to tell me just yet because to be honest I wasn't ready just yet to be a dad so she was holding off a little longer to break the news to me. Well I had written you name and address on a piece of paper and she found it in my shirt pocket and lets just say she was quite unhappy at the time. She was sure I was doing something wrong so I had to tell her why I had you name in my pocket but not before she told me she was pregnant. I was sure in the doghouse there for a while! Everything is fine now but she's to big for the dress. I don't know what to do about the dress now so I'm going to leave it up to you. If your ok with just canceling it thats fine but I understand times are tough and you may be needing the money and I did agree to buy it from you so I'm fine with that to. I want to do whats fair to you and your the only one that can decide what you feel is fair. You,ve been very understanding and nice to me so I'll do whatever you wish. Just let me know what you decide and we'll go from there.

Was I ever happy to cancel his order...One thing I enjoy doing on eBay is answering questions, but Robert's were so weird, and the stories he told just so wacky....

And then I read through his feedback...always the same kind of thing: buying a dress in a large size...for his "wife" or "daughter."

Any thoughts?

How the Parade Started

Ah, public education in California.  Three pay cuts in two years, no paid health insurance...the necessity of not living on a flattened refrigerator cardboard box in front of Macy's...hey!  I've got tons of clothes I can sell.  Being a packrat might pay off...hence my foray into the world of eBay.  It has been several years now, and I have "met" all sorts of individuals, some famous, some infamous, some that really made me wonder about humanity.  This blog will attempt to share with the world some of the tales from the passing parade of eBay characters.